Disgusted with your face on Zoom?

Introduction

I bet if you saw that headline you were expecting to read something like, “disgusted with your face on Zoom? come get a bunch of injections so that you feel better”.

Believe it or not, I’m actually going to tell you the opposite and preach some moderation here.

Stay tuned if you want to hear more, or if you want me to tell you this in person, book a consult below.

Zoom-tox

By my personal definition, Zoom-tox is: the Botulinum toxin injections (of any brand) prescribed for an individual suffering from lack of confidence or low self-esteem after staring at themselves on Zoom calls all day. 

Zoomtox has become mostly a joke in my office but I think it also warrants some real talk.

In general, my patient population tends to be a very realistic group of women that just wants little tweaks to their physical appearance. They want to look refreshed and natural, not over-done. They are (usually) really well balanced with their procedures and overall very confident people.

So when these bada** women come in comparing  themselves on Zoom calls to old weathered movie characters, animals and even shriveled foods we get a good laugh.

We laugh about it because they really are (mostly) being sarcastic and I don’t think they actually think those things about themselves.

However, some of them laugh for a bit and then tell me about how it really is starting to bother them. Maybe it’s time for them to do more than their regular injections? Maybe they do need to do ____.

If something really does bother them, and I can see it in real life and not just in a photo they are showing me, it’s worth a discussion. Either way though we have a chat about what they look like in real life versus Zoom and to not let Zoom become their reality, or their source of validation (more on that below), regardless of what they choose to do in my office.

Looking good on camera vs in real life

Listen, I look at people’s faces all day long. I watch what they look like at rest, when talking, when smiling, and at every angle. What makes faces the most beautiful is looking at them in 3D with animation. The way a smile lights up someones face, slightly lifts their cheeks and slants their eyes. Or the way they tilt their head and turn up one mouth corner when thinking of something clever.

Have you ever seen someone that you thought was “ok” looking and then when you had a conversation with them they became much more attractive? A lot of that is their energy and animation and you can’t always capture that online or through a video.

So the problem with tweaking our faces for images or videos is that we can sometimes take away unique and natural beauty.

A cheek that is perfect at every angle without animation might look overdone when smiling in real life.

Those beautiful, sultry, pouting lips may be sexy in the photo but in person they’re not kissable.

A face with no lines might look great on a call at first until they start talking or laughing and then something doesn’t look quite right with the animation.

Ever wonder how some celebrities go over board? I think this is how. Those poor souls are constantly staring at themselves on camera and then they keep going back to their aesthetic professional for more, more, more until they no longer look like themselves. For whatever reason, that professional doesn’t tell them to stop, or they do and the celeb goes elsewhere.

The good news is, most of us aren’t celebrities or models and even if we (I mean you) are, moderation is still key (in my opinion).

Moderation with Zoom

Look, I get wanting to look good. I work in aesthetics and what I look like directly affects my brand image. I need to look “good” while also, in my husband’s words “not looking like a real-housewife”.

I’m also not always 100% confident and balanced though. I compare myself to other people in the industry. Their brand, what they look like, their photos.

I can admit that I have taken over 100 photos in a day and deleted every single one. Or nailed it on a video topic and then never posted it because I couldn’t get over something trivial with my appearance.

I get it, I really do. It’s taken me several years to just start posting the photos I hate of myself and (trying) to let go of my judgements. And you know what? I still discover new things I need to let go of every day. It’s a work in progress.

One thing I am always reminding myself of is that what I look like in photos and videos isn’t always a true reflection of my appearance and is also not what my self-worth is based on.

Let me say that again, a little louder, so we can all hear it:

Your self worth is not based on how you look on Zoom or any other media

In this day in age, especially during a Pandemic, when we are all social distancing and communicating online, we often mistake how we look and how many likes we get as real connection and validation.

Now I think this was a problem before the Pandemic but now it’s at least an epidemic in itself.

What you look like in a photo or on a video call and how many likes you get does not define you or your self-worth.

The fact that we’re all still getting out of bed and making it to our Zoom calls at all with everything going on is amazing if you ask me. There is so much that we all bring to the world. To our families, to our peers, to our pets. Don’t let yourself be down because of how you look on a call.

If it really is just that one thing, ok, go see someone you trust and take care of those 11’s lines or whatever is driving you nuts and then let go of the rest.

If it’s deep and painful and you can’t even look at yourself, that’s bigger and no amount of “work” is going to “fix’ it. I can’t tell you how to handle that either other than that you are more than what you look like.

This is really cheesy but we really do have to love ourselves on the insides before we can love anything we do on the outside. Our appearance might kick-start that confidence but trust that you are enough with or without that.

What are some tips to look better on Zoom?

• Find a place in your house with adequate lighting and make sure that lighting is in front of you and lighting your face versus behind you or to the side creating shadows
• Set the camera on your computer or device slightly above the level of your face so that it is angled down on you versus looking up your nose
• Use the filter on Zoom if it helps you feel more confident on calls. This is just a button you can click so that it smooths our your appearance while on calls, kind of like a snapchat filter.

Conclusion

• Love yourself no matter what you look like on Zoom.
• If you want to reasonably change your appearance and it will make you look and feel more confident, that’s ok, do it and love yourself.
• If you want to learn to love yourself as you are and not change anything, that’s ok, do it and love yourself.
• If you feel icky but you want to try to love yourself, that’s ok, do it and try to love yourself.
• You can love yourself and get Zoomtox. You can love yourself and not get Zoomtox. You can love others if they decide to do opposite of what you decide to do for yourself.
• Don’t let what you look like on Zoom ruin your day.