I meet a lot of people in this industry and overall most people have really good balance. They want to be their best selves and feel like they look like their best selves at the age they’re at. But even the most balanced individuals aren’t exactly nice to themselves when I hold up the mirror during a consult.
Some people have a hard time even looking in the mirror at all during the assessment. So part of my process after we go over what they want to address with their procedure is also to remind them to be more kind to themselves.
Being more kind to ourselves, particularly when it comes to our appearance can be difficult because we, mainly women, are really hard on ourselves. Breaking this habit is a great New Years Resolution but unfortunately won’t last if we only think about it during the first part of the year.
So this article will focus on some ways to help you be more confident EVERY DAY in the New Year.
Come on, you have to like at least one thing about your face. I know you think your entire appearance is overshadowed by your “11’s lines” or “jowls” or “eye bags” or whatever you’re fixated on but you have nice features too. Maybe you have a great jawline, or beautifully shapes lips, a cute nose, nice eyes, a clear complexion, really pretty hair? Find something.
Once you find this feature focus on what you like about it. Once this feels comfortable find something else you like about your face, your body, your personality, your life. This tends to snowball in a good way.
What makes you feel pretty?
I have a friend that says she feels glamorous every time she puts on false eyelashes. Her real eyelashes are fine and she doesn’t have some big insecurity about her eyes but something about false lashes makes her feel like a movie star.
I personally love red lipstick. I don’t even particularly love my lips (working on that) but I love red lipstick. So sometimes if I just want to feel really pretty or special I put on red lipstick.
It doesn’t have to be something that changes your appearance but find something that you can actively do to boost your confidence, no matter what anyone else thinks about it. Then when you do this thing think about how you feel and try to replicate that feeling as much as possible in every day life.
How young do you FEEL?
As adults we have so much going on in our lives that we often feel like we are years older than we really are and this can actually age us prematurely and sink our confidence.
So think back to a time in your life when you felt young and free. What did that feel like? Is there any way you can feel like that now? Could you do anything to recreate that experience in the current time, even if it’s just your attitude and state of mind?
There was a “reverse aging” experiment done by Ellen Langer, a Harvard Psychologist, where she took 8 senior citizen men and placed them in an environment that was re-created to mimic the times 20 years earlier, and they were encouraged to live like it was 20 years earlier. They found that these individuals had improved hearing, strength and intelligence scores after the experiment.
They also had volunteers look at photos and they perceived the before and after photos of the men to be around 2 years younger afterwards even though they were the same age in the photos.
Now there are a lot of limitations to such a small study but there is emerging research that how young we feel can dictate how quickly we age (inside and out). So perhaps feeling young and confident will make us be more young and confident. Fake it ’til you make it right?
Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others is a sure way to feel like crap. Or if it makes you feel great that’s something to maybe be addressed as well. The most stable happiness comes from within and not from any external validation or comparison.
If you find that you feel worse after browsing social media, take a break from it. Or only let yourself check it once a day. If you’re comparing in other areas of your life then find a way to balance that as well.
Aesthetic procedures and confidence
Someone that loves themselves and loves their body is more likely to take better care of it. When we love who we are inside we are more likely to be confident, not care what others think, not be bothered by the B.S., and do things that make us feel better inside and out.
When we feel beautiful we are more likely to take better care of our appearance. We might dress ourselves up, get our hair done, put on make-up (or not), and take good care of our skin.
For truly confident people these are self-care habits because we love ourselves, and not because we are insecure. There are obviously those on the other end of the spectrum that do too much because they are insecure but that’s for another article.
So if you do any procedures do them because you love yourself and want to look and feel beautiful because you know you are beautiful. Or don’t do them because you look and feel beautiful either way. It’s a personal choice and that choice might be different during different phases of your life and that’s ok too.
Ask yourself “What would a confident person do”?
Or ask, “what would someone that really loves themselves do?” then start doing those things. Would a confident person call themselves bad names or insult themselves constantly? Probably not. Even if you don’t feel it yet, try it out and once it becomes a habit you really will feel better.
A few great books that help with this concept are “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero and “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Note: these are not affiliate links and I get no benefit or kick back by recommending these books.
Do you have any suggestions to be more confident every day? I would love to hear from you!