Why couples fight about Botox: Real reasons from real people

Couples fighting about botox

My husband thinks I’ll look fake or plastic if I get Botox

We’ve all seen pictures and videos in the media and all over the internet of people who look overdone and think, “I’m never doing that if that is what I’ll look like”. Our partners have seen those photos as well and when you say the word “Botox” red sirens go off in their heads. Little do they know that likely all of those photos they saw are not reflective of Botox at all! For instance, in the above photos nearly all of those individuals have had known plastic surgery and filler. They may have had Botox as well but that’s not what makes them look like that.

In fact, Botox is incapable of producing the over-plump/over-filled tight skin appearance. It’s job role is to inhibit muscles from contracting so that wrinkles are lessoned, that’s basically it. When people have huge lips and cheeks and their skin is so tight that they can barely move, you can guarantee that’s not from Botox. That is from over-done procedures, likely requested by the patient, and the provider either willingly or reluctantly complied or from a provider that did not know how to provide a natural result. To learn more about Botox and how it actually works check out Botox 101.

So what do you do if your partner raises this concern?

Bring them to a consult appointment and let your injector address their concerns with you. Often once people are educated, and also feel heard, they no longer have any objections and some even want Botox themselves! One client’s husband said, “My Dad had those lines between his eyes and it always made him look mad, I don’t want those. Can you prevent that?”

These photos give great examples of what to expect with Botox or other neuromodulators. The wrinkles are reduced but the individuals are still able to make facial expressions and some natural appearing lines remain.

I bet your significant other would never be able to tell if he/she saw these people in the office. 

Botox is expensive and a waste of money

Many couples have joint checking accounts or share finances in one way or another. It is a logical argument that Botox is an added cost, and depending on personal finances and budget, could become a problem in a relationship.

Botox costs around $10-14/unit and the average treatment for say the Glabellar region or  “11’s”  lines between brows combined with forehead treatment is about 40 units. So that’s $400-$560 every 3-4 months for maintenance. Whether that cost is worth it is completely subjective and up to each person to evaluate.

If cost is the biggest barrier and you really want to get Botox, here are a few suggestions:

  • Ask your injector if they have referral programs or offer discounts for combined procedures or for booking with a friend/friends. For instance, we offer 50% off if you book a treatment with 4 other friends or host concierge services with 4 friends.
  • Talk about a budget with your partner and cut out other costs if possible so you can to stay within your agreed plan.
  • Put away a certain amount of cash each week and then see how much you have after 3 months and then gear your treatments around that budget.

You should just age gracefully

Between social media, the internet, magazine covers and photo-shop in general, there is more pressure than ever for what the “ideal woman” should look like. Women are constantly being told, directly and subliminally, what they should do and how they should look. Then there’s this other expectation that they look that way but completely naturally or “age gracefully”. Little do our partners know that most people that appear to be “aging gracefully” are having multiple aesthetic procedures done. Our suggestion is that you do what feels right for you, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. 

We are not here to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t look like and at the same time, every individual has a right to their beauty secrets.  

So if this is an argument in your relationship, keep the lines of communication open and address where this judgment comes from with your partner. Chances are it has nothing to do with you or Botox and more to do with their subjective perceptions of the world and the people around them.

Aging is natural, you don’t need Botox

That’s true and you know what else is natural? Hairy legs, frizzy hair and naked toenails… This kind of leads off of the last section on societal expectations of women. It’s accepted, and even expected, for women to shave their legs/pits/bikini line, wear make-up, do their hair, dye their hair etc. However, none of that is technically natural or required either is it? Many women choose not to participate in those societal norms, so again it’s a personal choice. No one needs Botox (outside of certain medical conditions) but it’s ok to want it and to admit that it feels good the same way a Brazilian blow-out and a pedicure feel good.

As far as aging being natural, that’s also true, but it’s also ok to not want to look your age or look older than your age. American men and women have a lot on their shoulders these days. We are expected to work, cook, clean, take care of the kids and look great while doing it! Women are also taking on more positions of power and increased stress and lack of sleep can lead to pre-mature aging. Botox and other minimally invasive cosmetic procedures can help reduce the obvious physical effects of aging. It’s a great combination with yoga, meditation and other stress reduction techniques for this busy world we live in.

Brief Summary

  • When done correctly Botox injections appear very natural and it’s not obvious that they have been done.
  • Botox injections reduce wrinkles but are incapable of creating an overly tight or over-filled appearance.
  • Reducing wrinkles can actually help you stay looking like yourself longer as you age.
  • Botox can be expensive but we offer free or discounted Botox with referrals or for hosting Concierge Services.
  • Getting Botox does not mean you’re insecure, it is a personal choice and you are empowered to choose to do it or not.
  • Aging is natural but you don’t have to look your age, or look older than your age. Many Americans are aging faster because of increased stress.
  • Botox could be considered preventative for wrinkles the same way someone dyes their hair to hide grays, gets laser hair removal to prevent unwanted hair growth or gets hair treatments to prevent frizz. It’s a personal choice for what is important to each person.

Have questions or comments, want to book a consult?

We would love to hear about your experiences, or barrier, in regards to Botox and other cosmetic procedures. Get in touch to ask questions, leave a comment or just to chat!

Ready to book an appointment or a consult? Click below!